The Other Dog I Didn’t Want
What to do when you really don’t want the dog
She’s shredded walls and doors more times than we can count at the moment.
Sonar first arrived at my sister’s house eight months ago, very much still a puppy but quite large. She belongs to my sister’s boyfriend, and they were new to each other as well. Part German Shepherd/Belgian Malinois, Sonar was a challenge as soon as she walked in the door, jumping incessantly for attention. Both my sister and her boyfriend travel a lot for work, and when they leave, I get the dogs, all three of them: the Cane Corso that’s nearly impossible to walk, the Malinois that can’t function at even the slightest hint of thunder, and the Miniature Schnauzer, the one dog that belongs to me, who is pretty low maintenance compared to the other two.
I’d grown to like Maslow, the Cane Corso. We had an understanding.
But for quite a few months, I couldn’t stand the Malinois.
She has severe storm anxiety. They’d tried everything from thunder shirts to calming music to essential oils. The only thing that prevents her from tearing open walls at this point is if someone is physically with her. Then she’ll shake, but she mainly just tries to hide.
She’s pushy and high energy. If not for her storm issues, she would have been an ideal working dog, able to work and move for hours at a time. She jumps, licking faces. She’s discovered how to open doors.
The day my sister had a work commitment, with a 80 percent of rain, I was available. I spent the day with Sonar.
We went to the dog park and through the Starbucks drive through. She laid down near me when I was writing on the couch, and we took a nap as well. We waited at school for my nephew that afternoon.
She calmed down during that time with me, and I found her just looking at me sometimes.
It’s tough to be angry with a dog when you take the time with her. When you see what she likes and doesn’t like, and how to adjust your own actions to accommodate her needs.
Because the reality was that I didn’t WANT to be around her. And she NEEDED to be around me. Needs trump wants, every time.
I’ve been in a few lessons recently where one part of a family or household doesn’t want a dog, but the other does, and then the dog comes home.
This isn’t a great scenario — everyone, of course, should be on the same page and want the dog. But things happen.
Because I was the one who didn’t want the dog, I had to do a few things as a result:
- Spend time with the dog. Take the dog on walks, go get a pup cup, spend the day together and accommodate what that would look like. Just for a day. If that’s too much, take an hour or two. Forget about the feelings or the frustration. What would a good day look like for the dog you didn’t want?
- Compromise. Maybe you will never do the early morning walks or potty breaks, but you are able to do the evenings or make sure the dog gets dinner. Dogs are a lot of responsibility, and there’s also training and other adjustments.
- Be willing to grow. It wasn’t so much for me, eventually, to grab Sonar when Jeeves and I were heading to the dog park. A different harness made walks more manageable. And she’s always up for snuggling, which is pretty sweet, since Jeeves doesn’t care much for it.
Once I got past my own frustrations of taking care of a dog I didn’t want, I was able to sort through and find those good parts of spending time with the Malinois.
Sonar doesn’t jump as much anymore. We’ve worked a lot on that. And it’s pretty hard to be frustrated with a dog who will walk up to you, folded up on herself, as her tail thumps wildly, because she’s just so darn excited to see you.
It helped me realize that she needed to learn the rules, too. It was just as much as an unpredictable situation for her, too. She had to figure me out and discover what was fun about spending time with me.
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Next week: Methodologies! The dog industry is packed with a lot of emotions, whether regarding shelter, rescue, doggy daycare, training, pet walking, or grooming. In dog training alone, there’s a lot of different ways to learn and to train. I’ll be sharing more of how I learned, what I do, how I teach, and why.
Drop-in group classes take place every Saturday at SoMa Animal Clinic. I also offer private in-home lessons in the Little Rock area. Email me at info@telltaildogtraining.com for more information.
